Real Friends Podcast
Real Friends Podcast
Ron and Kay Hamm
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Ron and Kay Hamm share their transformative journeys from brokenness to acceptance through faith and community. Their stories highlight the importance of relational evangelism, the strength found in church community, and the significance of Christ-centered family values and support.
• Ron and Kay introduce themselves and their church roles
• Kay discusses her challenging upbringing and journey to faith
• Ron shares his Christian heritage and experiences that shaped his faith
• Importance of community outreach and relational evangelism
• Insights on parenting and maintaining faith in family life
• Tips for navigating marriage and communication
• The reward of cultivating friendships in the Christian community
• Encouragement for new believers and those seeking a deeper faith experience
And so I went over to the corner all by myself over there to the altar to pray, and the pastor's wife came down and prayed with me and I felt all of that shame and rejection that I had carried around in my brokenness all those years. I just felt it fall off of me and for the first time, I mean, I felt like a new creation. And for the first time, I mean, I felt like a new creation and for the first time I felt total acceptance and love and I felt for the oh friends, oh friends.
Speaker 4:Hello and welcome to the Real Friends podcast, something we produce here at Real Life Community Church. This is a chance to get to know our fellow parishioners, elders, pastors, all kinds of people from the real life community. Pastor Chris, our lead host, hey everybody. I see you made it in through the Gale Forest winds.
Speaker 2:Yes and we're expected to get like 70 mile per hour winds in just a bit. So if our listeners hear something in the background, that just might be the reason.
Speaker 4:And if you hear nothing in the background, that means the power went out, Because my understanding from my wife, who works in public radio and follows these things closely, said there's already that many people 17,000 without power in the state.
Speaker 2:This is a great time to record a podcast.
Speaker 4:Yeah Well, I don't know if any of them are in our. No, I'm kidding, it didn't really go out right there. We're still here.
Speaker 2:So hey, listen, you just did a remote job at the Spoonbread Festival, right, I did, yeah, a couple of remote broadcasts from there for my commercial station.
Speaker 4:How was it? Very spoonbready Actually, I don't know that that's an adjective, and I didn't actually get to sample any of the spoon-bred this particular go-round, but the balloon glow that they invited me down for is just a feast for the eyes Okay.
Speaker 2:so I heard something about the balloon glow. The balloons actually do not go up in the air. Is that true?
Speaker 4:Correct. They keep them tethered. It is strictly for the on-ground spectacle of them being lit. I don't know enough about hot air ballooning. Is it even reasonably safe to fly them at night, when it's completely?
Speaker 4:dark that I do not know I wouldn't think so, but I guess I don't know. And I do remember not this year, but no, both years I've been there doing this. I've had somebody ask me are they going up, or when are they going up? And the first year I wasn't even really sure that they weren't going to go up for a brief time while the sun was still up. Somebody who was listening on the air came up and told me basically a very diplomatic hey, dummy slash, bless your heart, they're not going in the air.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, hey, listen. Today we have some special guests. Great friends Ron and Kay Ham are with us. Ron and Kay welcome.
Speaker 1:Good to be here.
Speaker 2:So, ron, you are one of our fellow elders pastors here at the church. And how long have you guys been at the church, kay?
Speaker 1:Six years, I think.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 1:Time flies, doesn't it, yeah, it does.
Speaker 2:And Kay, what do you do here at the church?
Speaker 1:Well, I work in the children's ministry and we both teach New Believers class and help out in the homeless ministry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so talk for a second about that New Believers class.
Speaker 3:It's a class for adults, but we did have two 11-year-olds completed the adult class this time around. Oh excited. It's like AP Bible, that's right. It's a discipleship course for new believers and we even had one couple come that they've been Christians for five years but they had never, even though they have attended various churches, they never had the opportunity for a discipleship class. So it covers it's called Powerful Living as a Child of God and it covers how to study the Word of God, how to pray, how to share your faith. It covers the ordinances of the church, all the basics of Christianity. So it's a good foundational course for new Christians.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you are an elder pastor. What are?
Speaker 3:your areas of focus. As far as ministry goes, primarily as an elder pastor here at Real Life Community Church would be evangelism Outreach is my major focus so I've headed up neighborhood outreaches. Also. The homeless ministry worked with it where we housed the homeless here in-house at the church Matt was a big help with that stayed overnight.
Speaker 4:Yes, that's. My spiritual gift is I can stay up late and watch other people sleep, and I will take it.
Speaker 2:We all have different gifts because I'm a nine o'clock go to bed guy.
Speaker 3:So we housed 15 individuals every Tuesday night and we had, I think, 40 volunteers come out and help out with the homeless ministry.
Speaker 4:And so evangelism is primarily, but also do some teaching here at the church and I would like to ask, just for those who may not be aware of the terminology in general, or even if they are to a degree, the shift that our church made in the hierarchy used the term elder pastor. I don't want to get too far in the weeds, but he's not just referencing the shift that our church made in the hierarchy used the term elder pastor. I don't want to get too far in the weeds, but he's not just referencing the fact that, like me, you're a little bit more seasoned than Pastor Chris, is, in overall life experience, a little older, to be less diplomatic, but that's not what he's talking about. What specifically is the role of an elder pastor as opposed to Pastor Chris, who would be like a senior or lead pastor?
Speaker 3:Right the elder pastor. The word elder is used in the Bible and it has the same meaning as pastor.
Speaker 2:It's synonymous.
Speaker 1:It's synonymous.
Speaker 3:It's the same word as bishop, also used in some New Testament versions, so it's a plurality of ministers. The Lord laid down Pastor Chris's heart, and so there's several elders that have come on board, so it's just another name for pastor.
Speaker 2:And there's really no difference in quote-unquote lead pastor in the way that we have this set up. So I serve here as the first among equals, so we are all co-shepherds.
Speaker 4:That's funny. That's the exact same phrase that I was going to use. You, kind of you're in charge of maybe leading discussions on the overall vision for the church. That's right.
Speaker 2:So my primary focus where Ron focuses on evangelism and outreach and the homeless ministry, things like that and some teaching new believers class my primary role is visionary and I do the lion's share of the preaching.
Speaker 4:The more you know.
Speaker 2:So this is a little different than a lot of churches. A lot of churches you have a lead pastor and then associates, and so it's kind of seen as a hierarchy and we just believe that we're a team team here. We all have different roles to play, but but you do have to have a leader. So in a sense it's kind of confusing and nuanced a little bit, but it's yeah. I serve as a first among equals Sure.
Speaker 4:So even somebody who grew up in a different sort of I'll use the word hierarchy, but I mean that very, very loosely or for people who are just newer to our church in general and experiencing learning who our leadership are and what everybody's roles are, I think it's really nice that they now know a little bit more focused, just exactly who you are in that particular place on the flow chart and really k, k and uh, you know k and the other uh wives run everything that's right.
Speaker 2:That's the most important thing.
Speaker 3:I want to, I want to say about, you know, the elders also. We do divide up the church and and uh, you know it's another that's a great shepherd and so k and I actually do this together. You we pray for, we have a list of you know individuals in the church that we pray for and follow up with. You know hospital visits and so forth. And shepherd, you know the sheep of God and every elder has that responsibility also.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's really an important point. You know, here at this church we're not just preachers, we are pastors and we really believe in shepherding our people. And as we've grown, it becomes really difficult for one couple to shepherd an entire church, and so as we grow, we don't want people to be left out, we want everybody to get pastoral attention and discipleship, and so it's just been phenomenal and I'm so grateful we have five elders here, including myself.
Speaker 2:Ron, it's a joy having you as a pastor of this church. What brought you guys to real life? You've been here six years, give or take.
Speaker 1:Well, we were thinking and praying about changing churches, and actually our son Josh and his wife Tamara had visited, and so they invited us along and we came and made it our home.
Speaker 2:Yeah well, we're certainly thrilled that you did. Do I remember? I might be misremembering this, but did you guys attend this church, or at least visit at some other point, when this was Faith Created Assembly or First Assembly?
Speaker 1:Way back when Gary Payne was there.
Speaker 2:So that would have been First Assembly. So that was years ago, oh I wasn't even aware of that.
Speaker 4:I only knew about Faith, Created from a while back. But go on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm not sure if we visited when Faith Created was here.
Speaker 3:One time.
Speaker 1:One time, but we did attend and were, I think, members when Gary was here.
Speaker 2:Gary, Payne, and what drew you to this church? I mean, obviously the Lord led you here. What was it that really drew you and made you say this is our home?
Speaker 1:Well, it's a very loving church and right away we felt warmth and we felt accepted. Of course, your preaching, the preaching of the word, really is important to us, and so that drew us.
Speaker 3:I would say you know specifically expository, you know teaching. When we came there was an outreach to you know individuals that were stepping down from the prison ministry About 15 to 20 were attending the morning service so you could see that the church, the believers in Christ, had a heart for, you know, the vulnerable in the community and the needy in the community. The love of Christ, the teaching it just made us, and doctrine is very important to me, so all that was part of our factors in wanting to attend this church.
Speaker 2:Yeah well, we are so thrilled the Lord has led you here. You're such an asset to our church both of you and so we're grateful for you. Let's get into your background a little bit, kay. I think your story is going to really shock a lot of people here. Share with us kind of your upbringing, where you grew up.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, I didn't grow up in a Christian home. In fact, it was quite dark. We lived with my grandparents, and I had uncles in and out who were heavy drinkers, maybe even alcoholics. My mother wasn't married, and so I have an older sister who knew who her father was Everyone did and I have a younger brother who knew who his father was. That was my mom's longtime boyfriend, but, as for me in the middle, I never knew, and it was never talked about in my home. It was like just very secretive. No one ever talked about it, and I didn't really have the courage to talk about it either to anybody in my family. Later, I realized where there's darkness.
Speaker 1:Satan likes to keep things dark and in secret, and he likes to keep you bound up, and that's how I grew up. I grew up with this great sense of shame and rejection. I would have friends at school, but I would never invite them to my house because they might learn my secret. I would tell one friend my dad died in a car accident, and then I would forget and tell another friend my dad died with a heart attack. I would just make things up. So, anyway, I was very broken. My neighbors, though, invited us to church. So I went to Sunday school with them and learned about God, and I learned from my Sunday school teacher the Lord's Prayer, and so I memorized it and that was my connection to God. I would pray the Lord's Prayer every night before I went to sleep. It's the only way I could.
Speaker 2:About what age was that?
Speaker 1:I would say that was about nine, about nine years old. It's like I really wanted to know God, but I didn't know how. I just didn't know how I didn't understand. And then, when my friends quit going to church, my Sunday school teacher, who lived right beside the church, would drive all the way across town to just pick me up, one little poor kid across town, to just pick me up one little poor kid. And so I really know the importance of teaching children and the importance of children's outreach. But then when my grandfather died, I quit going altogether. So then I found refuge in school and always did excellent. I made straight A's, I became valedictorian in my class which is also God's grace working in my life because you know, I was this poor kid from the projects by that time.
Speaker 1:We lived in the projects, and that doesn't happen very often and so I earned scholarships, went to college, and here I am going to college and my roommate she was a sorority girl going to college, and my roommate, she was a sorority girl fraternity parties, and so she started inviting me to all those parties and I started going with her, and at the same time I met a friend who started telling me about Christ and this friend just had a lot of light and joy, which I did not have. And so I was so attracted to that friend. And then, suddenly, as that person began to tell me about Jesus, it was like a light bulb went off in my head. Finally I found something I had been looking for. I had been looking for God all this time, never knew how to come to him until he just brought that revelation of Christ. How to come to him until he just brought that revelation of Christ. And my friend told me look, you can pray any time to give your life to God, to repent of your sins. And so I thought and thought about it.
Speaker 1:I took several months to think about that, because to me a commitment is I go at it with my whole heart. I want to make sure that this is a lifetime thing. So this is happening at college with me and at the same time, back home, assembly of God, pastor Ralph Tennyson. I still remember him. He had been visiting my family and invited them to church, and so it was Christmas break and my family said you know, come on to church with us tonight. And I thought about it and I thought this is it. I'm going to go to that church with them and I'm going to accept Christ as my Savior publicly. I'm going to commit my life to him. And so I went to church that night and they were having a Christmas play so they didn't give an altar call. So I said well to myself, I'll come to the next service and give my life to Christ. And so the next service I went and at the end of the pastor's message he called people up to pray and so I went over to the corner all by myself over there to the altar to pray and the pastor's wife came down and prayed with me.
Speaker 1:And I know that we tell people you may not feel anything when you become a Christian, but I'm telling you I did. I felt all of that shame and rejection that I had carried around in my brokenness all those years. I just felt it fall off of me and for the first time, I mean, I felt like a new creation and for the first time I felt total acceptance and love. And I felt for the first time I had a father. And the next week was the midnight service, new Year's Eve, and that's when I was baptized. The night I was baptized a couple of my other family members were baptized and since that time my mother, my grandmother, my aunt and uncle, my brother, their son and a few of my uncles and my sister have all become Christians. Praise God.
Speaker 2:Wow. So God has just transformed your family.
Speaker 1:And that friend that I wanted to tell you about back in college that told me about Christ. It was about a year and a half later I married him.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, that is awesome.
Speaker 4:Side note, whatever happened with the other friend, the proverbial demon on the other shoulder which I'm sure she's not a demon who is inviting you to all the sorority and fertility parties.
Speaker 1:I really, after that year of rooming with her, I changed roommates and I really never.
Speaker 4:She's not a demon who is inviting you to all the sorority and fertility parties. I really, after that year of rooming, with her.
Speaker 2:I changed roommates and I really never kept up with her Gotcha.
Speaker 4:Well, we wish the best for that one, but it sounds like you latched on to the good one between those two.
Speaker 2:Kay, I love what you talked about in your commitment to Christ. We at this church do not do high-pressure altar calls to where we put people on the spot. You know how sometimes you hear I'm going to count to three and it's just like this, almost like a sales pitch. Jesus says to count the cost.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And we do not just come to Jesus as Savior, but we come to Him as Lord. We're to confess Him as Lord, which means we get off the throne of our own life. That's right and it's like, that's not an easy decision. I mean there are many implications that come with that, and so you feel like at least in some sense you understood by the time you made that decision.
Speaker 1:you understood what it meant to be a follower of Christ. I had thought it through, yes.
Speaker 2:And then, how were you discipled after that?
Speaker 1:Chi Alpha. Oh, is that right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so just in case somebody listening doesn't know what Chi Alpha is, explain that because we have Chi Alpha missionaries right now in church, right it's a campus organization, a religious organization that reaches out to college students and disciples college students. Yeah, that's huge.
Speaker 3:And, ron, you were a part of Chi Alpha I was as a student, and later we became Chi Alpha ministers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's really incredible. And, Kay, I love how you said that here you were fatherless and immediately you felt you had a father.
Speaker 1:I did. I immediately felt that I mean, I had been searching for God and I really wanted to know God, but I did not know to come through Christ, his Son, to take away my sins. But I felt I can't explain it. But that's how I felt.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's really just incredible. You know, I've heard testimonies of this going different ways for different people. Some people who grew up without a father really reject the idea of being God a father because they assume that particularly if they were abused or mistreated, that they don't like the image of God being a father, but on the other hand, it's actually a beautiful thing and the reality is is God is a perfect father. I love that song. He's a good, good father.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's one of my favorites. I also want to share something else about that, because God is always in the healing business and he finds ways to heal that brokenness. And I mean he gave me a wonderful husband that I got to see vicariously how he fathered our sons and then my own sons in their faith walk. Seeing them father their children, that brings me such joy. And then Ron's dad became a father to me. So the Lord supplied that needed role, even with others.
Speaker 2:Yeah, one of my favorite verses actually perhaps my favorite chapter in the Bible is Romans, chapter eight. I love the whole chapter but beginning in verse 15, you have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you've received the spirit of adoption. Where we cry, I'll have a father.
Speaker 4:So, kay, the Lord put particular people in your life. You know that teacher, and then you know, in particular I'm thinking of that college friend who really got you on the path to pursuing Christ. You know, now you're living out your faith. You know so fully. So how do you, in turn, think about the importance of having friends in your Christian life?
Speaker 1:Well, I think it's very important that we can encourage one another, share, you know, if you can get to the point where you can share your, get to the point where you can share your deep needs and hurts and have someone there to pray for you and to guide you, just as a support for one another.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I often say that the Christian life is not me and God, it's we and God and Christian community is so vital and that's one of the reasons I love it here so much is we actually live life together and there's risk with that too. You know there's risk of hurt and you have to be somewhat vulnerable, but I would just say that the reward is absolutely worth the risk. And so, ron, we heard about Kay. How did you grow up? Tell us a little bit about your story. Well, I come from a Christian heritage.
Speaker 3:Tell us a little bit about your story. Well, I come from a Christian heritage. My great-grandfather on my dad's side, basil, was a circuit riding preacher. Actually he started two churches, one in Carter County and one in Round County. Then my grandfather and my grandmother were both Christians. Also, my great-grandfather his wife's name was Missouri, but she died when my dad was 10, so I never got to know her. My great-grandfather died when I was six. So my grandfather and my grandmother were strong Christians.
Speaker 3:But I grew up in Campbell County, northern Kentucky, and at that time my dad and mom were not serving the Lord but they still were really good parents. My dad he attended every ball game, you know played ball with us. Sports for me growing up was a big help, you know, to give me some good, positive activity. So I played a lot of sports. I had one older brother two years older than me. The Lord kind of got my attention. One thing Dad and Mom they always sent us to Sunday school and vacation Bible school. It was a Baptist church, so I was always thankful for that.
Speaker 3:When I was 10, my brother had a bone disease osteomyelitis and he was in the hospital for 53 days and he was 12 at the time and he almost died several times. You know I remember. You know I was a kid Back then. They wouldn't let you go into the room or anything. So I was in the waiting room and so many times I remember seeing my mom's worried face. They didn't think he was going to make it through the night.
Speaker 3:My brother Tommy, and then so after 50 days they'd given up all hope. A Baptist minister named Pastor Moore you know that was the same. You know I was just a little kid attending VBS and Sunday school. You know I didn't even know he knew who I was, but he heard about my brother in the hospital and he came and I said they were really giving up hope. But I know we'll forget him going.
Speaker 3:And I was in the room that night and he prayed for my brother and my brother made immediate recovery. I mean the Lord healed him. That's unbelievable. That was like. I remember seeing that I thought God must be real deep in my heart, even though I didn't know him. But just thinking about my brother could possibly die really got me thinking about it. And then, when I was 16 years old, my dad and mom moved from metropolitan area in northern Kentucky you know Newport, that area. When I was 16 years old, dad got tired of the city life, moved back to the country, bought a farm, and so you know, I go into a new high school. I got hair down on my shoulders.
Speaker 4:this was the 70s you know, try to picture that now picture, picture, picture ccr you know you're gonna dress up for halloween.
Speaker 3:This has to happen, so you know I go and I got hair down the shoulders and all these people in. It was fleming county. I went from camel county to fleming county and it's a very conservative rural community, they're all clean cut. And this principal came up to me as soon as I walked through the door. He probably said here comes trouble. And every other word was man, what's happening? Man? So my nickname was Ron Ham man, you know, and seriously all the kids called me Ron Ham man. And then the principal comes up to me. He looks up at me and he says, because he's about five foot four, pharisee Woods was his name. He says Ham. He says it's got to go, your hair's got to go, your mustache, your sideburns, everything's got to go by tomorrow morning. He said we have a dress code here and so you know, the Lord actually used that. You know, with that man he brought a little bit of. You know, put the set some boundaries for me. I found out later that Ferrissey Woods. I thought, well, who is this guy, this little guy?
Speaker 1:But I found out later he was the all-time leading scorer for Berthet County, Kentucky in history in basketball.
Speaker 3:So the man had some talent, ended up going to Kentucky Wesleyan, I think and broke their all-time record at 5'4". What did you say? His first?
Speaker 4:name was, by the way, ferrissey. Ferrissey Woods, five foot four or so, what did you say? His first name was, by the way, pharisee, pharisee.
Speaker 3:Woods. So that's just interesting.
Speaker 4:I wonder if I was hearing that right now I never heard that as a first name.
Speaker 2:I'd like to have met his parents. That's either they're really oblivious or they're really cruel Pharisee. I'd never heard the name.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but I never forgot the name because he set me straight.
Speaker 3:That is neat, and then so the coach came and recruited me I had played for Campbell County, you know high school. And so he came and said Ron, we want you on the football team. So that was really good for me. And then a lot of the like I said I looked older. A lot of the girls thought I was. Some of them thought I was a substitute teacher, you know, because I looked older.
Speaker 3:And anyway I got on the football team and one guy really reached out to me, made me feel, was a good friend to me. His name was Don and then later on, a few months later, he was out driving, had a car accident and he got killed in a car accident. My friend Don really my only friend at the new high school. If you ever change high schools you know how tough that can be. But he was a good friend of mine and I was a pallbearer at his funeral and I remember I was thinking about all and he wasn't drinking or driving, he was actually. I found out later he was going to go to Bible school, he was going to go to Kentucky Christian School. But he was just a really good young man and I was at Paul Barrett's funeral and I always tell people that's the greatest sermon I ever heard. I looked at his body and I thought that could have been me, but I didn't know what the answer was.
Speaker 3:And then, a few months later, after I graduated high school, I was invited to a Methodist camp meeting actually and I went, sat in the back row and then, when they gave the altar call I was 18 years old I felt the Holy Spirit drawing me and I thought, well, what if there's nothing to this? What if I go forward and make a fool out of myself? But I never will forget, just like Kay said, I did feel something. I mean, I stood up and I was scared to death. I didn't know if it was real, but I was looking for the answer. A little girl sang To God be the glory. I never will forget. I believe in music, evangelism, not just preaching. I mean it definitely was powerful when that high school friend of mine, you know, sang that song To God be the glory. So I mean, before I even prayed I didn't even know how to pray I took one step toward the altar and it was like a giant hand just reached down and lifted all my sins from my shoulders.
Speaker 3:You know I had been, you know, typical student, you know partier and stuff like that. But I found forgiveness that night and I found purpose that night. You know, when I was 18 years old and then K-Country was picked up from there on purpose that night. You know, when I was 18 years old and then K-Country was picked up from there. We went. You know I was working in a factory, wouldn't plan on going to college, but then, you know, through salvation, the Lord changed my heart and I started praying about things a little bit and he led me in another direction. So that's how I came to know Christ. Yeah, so you went to Moorhead and then you actually went on and got your MBA right. Yes, yes, from where? From Warhead.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have a master's of business administration from Warhead. So something that I heard in both your and Kay's story is just the importance of reaching out to people. I mean, both of you had. You know it's the Lord who draws us. You know, none can come to the Father unless he draws us. But at the same time, the Lord works through very ordinary means. He works through people, and so, you know, the way that he ministers to us in church is through one another. We're to bear one another's burdens, but the way that God reaches people is through the preaching of the gospel, through what I call relational evangelism. And so you know, Kay, you had somebody taking you to VBS and you had.
Speaker 2:Sunday school teachers and you know you have people in college ministering to you.
Speaker 2:And Ron, you had the pastor who you know came and prayed for your brother, and Kay, you had the you know the Assembly of God pastor.
Speaker 2:That so you. So in our busy lives now it is so easy just to pass people by and just go through the motions, and I just want to encourage all of us, those listening and each of us around this table as well just to take time for people, invite them to church, pick them up, bring them particularly with kids, getting them to VBS and Kids Church and all of that, but with adults as well doing hospital visits and all of that is just so vital. That's how the Lord works and obviously that has to come along with the preaching of the gospel, because it is the gospel that is the power of God unto salvation. But the common story is it's this person who took me to church, or this person who shared the gospel, took time for me, visited me in the hospital, and so that's just. Both of your stories are just so rich and just thank God for his grace in both of your lives.
Speaker 1:Yes, praise the Lord.
Speaker 2:And so, Kay, what do you do for a living?
Speaker 1:I'm a teacher. I've been a teacher for 33 years. I've taught in a Christian school. All those years.
Speaker 2:Right now you're at Calvary Christian in Winchester, right? Yes, and then Ron.
Speaker 3:I've worked in primarily nonprofit mission-related like foster care and adoption, and then also was with the Boy Scouts of America for a number of years as a senior executive. And then also was with the Boy Scouts of America for a number of years as a senior executive and then retired as a human resource person for a nonprofit Mountain Comprehensive Care, mental health as administrator.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you guys have been married how many years? 41. 41 years, and it has been all cupcakes and rainbows. I know you guys absolutely as hard as marriage is. You guys just seem to really adore each other. And could you just, being married 41 years, could you just offer some young married people some encouragement, because I'm sure, in honesty, it hasn't always been easy. But how do you stay in love and stay married all those years?
Speaker 1:Well, you have to put Christ first, you just have to. And then communication is very important, praying with each other, forgiving each other. We have this neat thing that we do like if one of us does something to maybe hurt the other one, speak roughly to the other one or upset the other one, we can call a redo. And then we both have to stop and forget what just happened and start over.
Speaker 2:Wow, and that's worked well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it has so how long have you? Been doing that? How long Since yesterday? Probably 10 years. Yeah, it has. So how long have you been doing that? How long Since yesterday? Probably 10 years.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 10 years probably, probably about 10 years. You made it through the first three decades without having to have that particular tool, that's true.
Speaker 4:You're always working in a marriage right, that's right. Now you mentioned to us that one of your kids and spouse were kind of. Who brought you to visit here. Talk were kind of. Who brought you to visit here. Talk to us about your family in general. Who are they?
Speaker 3:Well, we have three adult sons, and these actually were just our favorite names.
Speaker 2:We weren't just trying to be trendy, but they all start with J.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you guys were before your time, but now Jesus starts with J, so it's not a bad name. Anyway, it is Joel. He's our oldest and he's born in 86. 38, and then we have—they're two years apart. Then we have Jacob is 36, and Joshua is 34 years old, and they are all married. I call them our daughters in the Lord. Of course, we didn't have a daughter of our own, but it's been a great blessing to have them get married, and that added three daughters to our family, their daughters in the Lord. And then we've been blessed with all of our sons that they have a total of. We have now a total of 10 grandchildren, and it's five boys and five girls.
Speaker 4:Nice round number. I'm sure it's not hard to keep track of birthdays and stuff like that at all, is it?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so they kind of wait. They're looking for dad and mom, papa, mama. You know they kind of like radar. They know when our schedule is a little bit open. You know we're thankful we have a little bit of. You know where we're both working just part-time Now you have a little bit of free time and it's always a joy to be with our grandchildren and our sons and their wives.
Speaker 2:I feel like every time I call you to do something like if it's on a Saturday or a Sunday or in the evening, it's like we've got the grandkids at least one of them. So, ron, what is something that would surprise even people who might know you well about your life?
Speaker 3:Well, I think probably I'll kind of go with negative and a positive on this, because you know I want to be real. This is called real life, church, right? So up until 2004,. So at that time I was what? 43 years old, I had kind of like a straight line, you know, of a career. You know education, career and everything always very, you know, very successful.
Speaker 3:But from 2004, I was in foster care and adoption, so that was, and it was for a Christian organization. But then at that time this was way before Kim Davis and Oberg fell, if you know what, that is 2016, when they ruled on the same-sex marriage. Okay, so this was 12 years before I was kind of targeted for my Christian faith in foster care and adoption and could no longer. I was a licensing person, recruiting and training foster parents in adoption, and so that actually set me back career wise. You know, I ended up. I wasn't fired at that particular place, but I could see the writing on a wall, you know, because I did talk to the CEO about it and they were going that direction and then. So then at least two other times I kept trying to stay in that field and I was actually terminated, but I never had a-up in my whole life. But I was terminated twice for believing that marriage is between a man and a wife.
Speaker 3:So being an older person, that kind of set me back. I had a lot of job trials because of that. So I worked in factories. I've worked everywhere, but I always worked. But as a result I was kind of underemployed sometime and if I did get laid off or at times I drew unemployment at that point. Here's the positive. You know you can turn a lemon into lemonade. You know I started writing, you know, when I had free time, when I was drawing unemployment, because Kay would ask me every day what did you do today? You know, get up, get out. She would tell me that was what.
Speaker 2:I said, yeah, she would light a fire in me. I'm writing, yes, I'm writing.
Speaker 1:You know so that's something productive.
Speaker 3:I felt like I could be doing, ended up having a book published called For Me to Live as Christ, and it wasn't like money you know, it was a small publishing company and it wasn't like a big payout or anything like that but it was still, you know, accomplishment. And then I went on to write. You know, some other books too. So that's something people would probably be surprised, but I do enjoy writing. I can't remember who said I think, therefore, I am one of the philosophers, but I kind of feel, like you know, I write therefore.
Speaker 2:I am so.
Speaker 3:I do enjoy writing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, kay, what about you? What's something that was surprised?
Speaker 1:You're just an open book what's something that was surprised you're? You're just an open book. No um, you know like I said in my story, I was valedictorian in my high school and I'm not shocked by that, okay well, and then also you won't be shocked by this you had to give a speech as a valedictorian, so, and I cannot, you know, do upfront kind of things, and so I um know I wanted to just bow out of it, but finally some people talked me into.
Speaker 2:So, kay, is this a passive, aggressive way? To tell me to stop having you up on the platform reading my scripture.
Speaker 4:No, that's fine, I don't know you spend 33 years in front of classrooms. It can't be you.
Speaker 1:It's with children. Well, no, I did teach high school too.
Speaker 2:I love to have you up there reading the scripture. You have a great, great reading voice and then also, well, you're a librarian now, right at the school, so that makes sense. But you and Ron both I just love listening to you both pray, and so, yeah, it's so genuine. You can tell when people only pray when they're called on and people who pray constantly at home.
Speaker 1:And you can just tell you both have really rich prayer lives. When I told my story I forgot I wanted to really share this. I just wanted to honor my mother because, even though I grew up like that and she led a sinful life but we are all sinners but she always protected us. And my mother only had a third grade education but all of us my sister, myself and my brother all graduated from college my sister's a nurse, my brother's an engineer and I'm a teacher.
Speaker 1:So that's God's grace again, but also due to my mother.
Speaker 2:Well, Matthew, let's maybe go to rapid fire.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we got to turn on the sternos under the chairs. Get them on the hot seat here. Get them thinking quick All right start us off, all right. Okay, let's start with you, because I'm feeling a little peckish myself. Favorite food Pizza Ron.
Speaker 2:Kay and I share that. Let me just say that's my. I'm so glad because I'm'm like when people ask me that question I'm kind of reluctant to share that. I feel like I should say steak, or you know, some quinoa, that's right, that's right.
Speaker 4:Yeah, something healthy, it's pizza yeah, yeah, what kind, what kind. I know I'm. You know, pastor chris, if anybody doesn't know that he, uh, likes pepperoni pizza, well, that means that you don't go to this church that's right, I like any of any of it, but yeah, pepperoni.
Speaker 2:Yeah, kay, you have a particular go-to.
Speaker 4:No, there you go.
Speaker 2:She wants to know you got a high-maintenance wife. When it comes to pizza Ron Okay from a particular place?
Speaker 1:No, not really.
Speaker 3:All right, ron, definitely Kay's. It has to be Kay's lasagna. I love her lasagna. Brownie points points for you. So what about Ron, favorite vacation spot? We went on a cruise about six years ago, before COVID, and everything hit, thankfully. But we went to the Bahamas, you know, to pristine island. You spend all day there. It was five days, four nights, and I've always thought we really haven't been back because of COVID lately, of covet lately. But I always kind of I told k at the time I said why didn't we start doing this when we were 30 and do it every five years? Because, I mean, it was very therapeutic, because you don't have to worry about anything. I mean all the meals are covered, the tips are covered, you know, your housing's covered and just in a beautiful setting. So so I do see why people enjoy cruises.
Speaker 2:So I would think of you as more of a mountain man than a beach man. What do you prefer like beach or mountains?
Speaker 3:Well, we've had that conversation too. I think probably the first 15 vacations we went on was to the mountains.
Speaker 2:Oh, is that right.
Speaker 3:So it is, and I did work with the Boy Scouts. I've done a lot of camping. Probably, if I had to choose, I'd probably choose the mountains honestly, but if I had to choose a vacation in the mountains versus a cruise, I would probably take the cruise there's nothing like a cruise and, matthew, you are getting ready to go on a cruise.
Speaker 4:correct Indeed yes, first non-visiting family vacation that my family's probably ever gotten to go on. So any tips? Enjoy yourself.
Speaker 1:Just relax, just relax, don't gamble and don't drink.
Speaker 3:That's where you rack up the tab.
Speaker 2:Ron, are you saying this from experience?
Speaker 4:No, no, we didn't.
Speaker 2:No, he's saying this because he knows me oh yeah, okay, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, good point, we paid for it. We didn't pay for even the wireless. I mean, when we left we had a $20 tab. Wow, so they had to lose money on Kay and I.
Speaker 2:Yeah, matthew, I would tell you plan on going on a diet when you return. That would be my advice. It is food around the clock, all you can eat. So Kay favorite vacation spot.
Speaker 1:I'm the same as Ron. We just love cruises. I don't really have a favorite place.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I've heard that it's changed quite a bit since COVID and things, but they're still wonderful. We would love to go on another one soon. We've been on two. How many cruises?
Speaker 1:have you been on? I've been on two.
Speaker 3:You've been on two, I've been on one, all right.
Speaker 4:How about a favorite Bible verse. Let's start with you, Kay.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, I have several, but one that always sticks in my mind is Philippians 1.6. He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.
Speaker 4:That is powerful. How about you, Ron?
Speaker 3:I would have to pick two, For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1.21. And then, of course, John 3.16. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.
Speaker 4:You know that second one, of course we see so often in pop culture. Even non-Christians have an awareness of that particular one and it's probably easy for us as Christians to think about it, quote it and not really think about the depth of all the action words in there. It is such. My father says that it has been argued that that is the crux, the heart of the Word of God, and everything else is you know what? I don't remember what word he used, was it secondary or decoration or periphery or whatever. But if you have to boil it all down to one thing, you do get it all right there.
Speaker 3:Yes and amen on that.
Speaker 2:Yes, so I have one more rapid-fire question Hobbies Kay, what are your hobbies?
Speaker 1:Course reading and walking. We like to go on walks together and scrapbooking For each of my grandchildren. We have 10, I have made a first year scrapbook for them, which I think they think is pretty good.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that.
Speaker 1:And then you've gifted that to them On their first birthday.
Speaker 2:Okay's, that's great, ron. What about you?
Speaker 3:definitely, uh, scrapbooking as well but I love walking with my wife. Really it's just wonderful um and uh. I just love walking in general. I also get out and walk, uh, you know, even when I'm praying, so I really I really enjoy doing that. And then sports sports is big. Like I said, I grew up playing sports and you know, definitely a big UK Wildcat fan.
Speaker 2:Basketball and football right.
Speaker 3:Basketball and football. So you know, but I mean, I just enjoy sports, even if it's not UK. You know, I enjoy watching a good college, especially college, not really pro level, but like college level and even high school level.
Speaker 2:And you've gotten to go to. Actually already this season you've gotten to go to a game, right.
Speaker 3:Yes, we lost 13 to 12 to the number one team in the nation Georgia. So we almost pulled a major upset.
Speaker 4:Didn't get to win, but it was enough to knock Georgia out of the number one spot. So that's something right, that's right.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Well, guys, thank you so much for being on the podcast. I know it's going to be an encouragement. Your story is going to be an encouragement to so many listening. And Matthew, thank you as always, and particularly today, for braving the weather.
Speaker 4:That's right. Okay, I have a totally random question when it comes to the weather, Okay. Feel free to cut this out if you want, but why do we name the hurricanes and tropical storms and not tornadoes and blizzards? Why is it just this particular weather phenomenon?
Speaker 2:That is a great question, and we would just invite any of you who are listening to to please give us an answer, because I'm not going to sleep until I know the answer to this but yeah.
Speaker 2:So speaking of that, I'm so glad by God's providence, you know, you remind me of this. I want to tell our listeners this is new with our podcast, we now have the ability to receive texts. You know where you can ask questions. That may be biblical questions or questions you might have about someone's story, and it's really, really neat. So all you have to do is, if you're, whatever platform you're listening on, you're going to see in kind of the top above the description, it's going to say send a message and you can contact us and then also we we really never talk about this, but you can actually support the show and if, if anybody listening wants to give a couple dollars a month, there's a way to do that. Ways to do that Just follow the link in the description there. And that's really helpful because this does cost money with equipment and all of that, and we're trying to get Matthew his Mercedes.
Speaker 4:Two dollars at a time. You know there are ministries, big and small when it comes to costs, and so anybody that can cover you know the ones that we have for this I'd be very much appreciated yeah, well, thank you so much, everybody for listening.
Speaker 2:Until next time. This is the real friends podcast.